Becoming Vegetarian

Sometimes the biggest obstacle you face when you make a decision to become a vegetarian is not adapting to your new diet. It could be that an even bigger challenge is how to deal with your relationship with friends, family and coworkers as you make your new devotion to a vegetarian lifestyle known to them. So it’s a good idea to think through the issues you may encounter so you can smoothly integrate your new passion for vegetarian living with your lifestyle in general.

When someone who is not a vegetarian learns of your decision, their first reaction may be shock and confusion. You may remember when you first learned of the vegetarian way of life, there are a lot of misperceptions that becoming a vegetarian means you are converting to a strange religion and that you are no longer the same person you used to be. You may see that reaction in the eyes of your family, friends or coworkers and mixed in with a concern that you have "gone off the deep end" is a worry that you will no longer be able to enjoy meals with them or, worst case, you will become pushy that they too join you in your new diet and belief system.

The best way to make sure your relationships with others is not adversely changed by your new lifestyle is to think out how you will tell others and how to manage their reactions. Much of how you craft the way you present your feelings about becoming a vegetarian will reflect your reasons for adopting this new lifestyle. If you are interested in vegetarian eating primarily for diet purposes, its natural we all have our own diet preferences.

A diet driven vegetarian regime is something that should not cause any uneasiness in those you are close with. The key then is to present your decision to become a vegetarian so they know it is primarily a health and diet choice. If they know that there are not large ethical or religious issues in your decision, that will take much of the "stigma" of becoming a vegetarian out of your time together, even during meal time.

Your openness about your diet decisions will be very important to the ones in your life who buy the food and prepare it. If you can find recipes that can be integrated with the meat eaters recipes so the cook (even if that is you) doesn’t have to prepare two full meals, that takes a lot of the overhead out of living in a house of meat lovers and still maintaining your vegetarian standards.

If your reasons for becoming a vegetarian are ethical or religious, then the more you foster open communication will make all the difference. First of all, decide where you stand on being with others who do not share your views. After all, deciding to become a vegetarian out of your desire for ethical treatment of animals is a noble cause. But we all have to deal with the fact that not everybody shares our views. So if you are avoiding meat for that reason and a close friend or relative orders the steak at a restaurant, it really is more your responsibility to deal with that than it is for the meat lover.

Naturally you want to share your ethical or religious values with those you are close to. But you cannot do that if you make them uncomfortable or make them feel like that want to distance themselves from you. So be patient. First help them accept your new lifestyle. Then as they come to accept this part of you and they relax knowing you that you accept them in the same way you want to be accepted, they can express curiosity and you can share your feelings and values. That is the best way to share your feelings and to help others understand what being a vegetarian is all about. And who knows, you might even win some converts is you use an open and patient approach to showing others how you feel.

The vegetarian culture is one that fosters a certain "snootiness" because of our insistence on pure foods. It is also easy to get a superior attitude because vegetarian living is clearly a superior way to live from a health perspective and because so often our reasons for becoming a vegetarian is grounded in moral, ethical or religious values. And this is all well and good as long as you are functioning within the vegetarian community exclusively.

But what if your sweetheart is a meat eater? If the one you are dating, engaged to or even married to is not a vegetarian, that can lead to some pretty delicate moments. The last thing the vegetarian movement is about is hostility. So we have to have some guidelines on how to live in peace and harmony if your romantic partner has not joined you in your the vegetarian lifestyle.

Of course, one resolution is for your sweetheart to become a vegetarian with you. You could go with the argument of, "well if you loved me you would give up meat." But forcing someone to join the vegetarian community out of guilt is a terrible reason to make that change of life. Your sweetheart will just resent giving up a food he or she loves and will probably cheat and eat meat when not around you. That kind of tension, resentment and deception is no grounds for a long term love affair.

A better way is to come to terms with your differences, find ways to live with them and then see if down the road, your sweetheart might convert of his own free will. The first step, as is true of any conflict in an intimate relationship, is to talk about your differences openly. Sit down and talk about where each of you is on this issue. Agree to disagree. But also agree to find compromises and not to hold the other in contempt or to mock the other for the life choices he or she has made. By reaching a loving agreement, each of you can allow the other to be who he or she is and the romance can continue as the dietary dispute is resolved peacefully.

Together you can look for restaurants that offer both vegetarian dishes and meat dishes so each of you can get what you want. Now you don’t have to go to a restaurant that shouts in its advertising "We Serve Vegetarians!" All a good restaurant needs is a few good menu entries that are meatless and you can find what you want while your sweetheart enjoys a meat dish. Most good restaurants offer a tempting salad offering that you can customize so any meat, bacon bits, boiled eggs or even cheese are left out. By working together to build a good list of restaurants both of you can enjoy, you have a compromise for date nights that will last a long time.

Finding ways for both of you to enjoy your diet of choice is a good long term step. But your loved one may have a misconception that vegetarian food can't taste good. So make a deal that he or she might try it one night. Then you can put your best foot forward by preparing a sumptuous vegetarian meal that nobody can resist. But be aware that if you do try to make such a deal, you might have to agree to let your sweetheart try to convert you back to the meat eating world with a sumptuous home made meat based meal. If that is not ok with you, don’t make the deal.

Above all, don’t mock or look upon your sweetheart's choice of diet with distain or disgust. Don’t make the "eww" face each time your date has a hamburger or a hot dog. Come to the point that you can live with meat eaters and not feel repulsed when others eat the foods you don’t approve of. After all, you would not your date to make the "eww" face when you had a tofu burger or a big plate of steaming vegetables instead of meat. So treat each other with respect and love. Over time that approach will result in the best long term love affair and maybe even see you come to a time when he or she sees the light and joins you in the joys of vegetarianism.

We all fear change. And when we see a "movement" start to get momentum in society, its easy to fear it is being imposed on us by some sinister force out to ruin our way of life. That instinct to fear change at a social level goes way back. But the truth is that society does change and evolve and often for the better.

The anti smoking movement of the last three decades is a good example of positive social change. When the move to eliminate smoking from our national life first started, many people feared it was the work of radical left wingers who wanted to take away our rights. But as more and more discussion of the good of eliminating smoking from peoples lives occurred, it became obvious that smoking was not something good people should have a right to engage in any more than getting a dread disease is a right and a natural part of culture. So smoking has slowly been eliminated from public life and we are a healthier people as a result.

As the move toward more healthy ways to live has continued to be part of our cultural discussion and in the last decade or so, vegetarianism has taken center stage. As before, many fear the natural evolution of society away from meat consumption and toward a natural way of eating as vegetarians is a sinister plot of the radical left to deprive us our right to eat meat and so take away one of our freedoms.

This is far from the truth. But that doesn’t mean that vegetarianism is not going to change the world and become more the norm than the unusual. That is because becoming a vegetarian is a natural step for many of us who are concerned about weight loss, long life and health. The national obsession with weight loss and avoiding sickness is so strong that its impossible to ignore. Part of the reason for that is that a lot of companies are making a lot of money selling us ways to live healthy and lose weight.

What these companies don’t want you to know is that you don’t need pills or expensive programs. You can live a healthier life and lose weight naturally by simply becoming a vegetarian. But as that truth becomes more well known, the movement will pick up momentum and more and more people will see the good in eliminating meat and meat byproducts from their diets. If that happens the answer is yes, vegetarianism may very well take over the world.

What should be our response to the rapidly growing social momentum toward vegetarianism? Should we buy guns and retreat to the hills to fight a final battle with the vegetarian zombies who want to rob us of our lifestyle? Not at all. Putting the vegetarian movement into context with the move to reduce the negative impacts of smoking on our lives helps give us perspective of what to expect.

If you once smoked and have quit because it has become so socially unacceptable to smoke, you no doubt are glad by now that you did so. Why? Because you are more healthy, happier, more energetic and you will live longer. That good change may have been imposed on you by society but you benefited from the change.

If society moves more toward vegetarian living because of the common sense of living a healthy way that is in concert with ethical treatment of animals, organic living and living green, it will change the way we work as a society. It is easy to look down the road to a time when eating meat is unusual and there are more vegetarian restaurants and markets than any other kind.

But this is not a social change to be feared. Yes, when you join the vegetarian revolution, just as it was when you quit smoking, it may be difficult and you may resent it. But when you have made the change, you will find yourself healthier, happier, slimmer and living longer as a result. And even if you hated seeing vegetarianism change the world, in the final analysis, we all will be better people if it does.

When you are learning the ropes of your new lifestyle of being a vegetarian, every aspect of life will be affected. From work to home life to eating out, you have to have a strategy for how to maintain your vegetarian discipline and still enjoy these different situations of life that are important to you. One of the situations we all find ourselves in, albeit perhaps infrequently, is when you are a house guest of a friend or relative. In that situation, you are going to find yourself under the hospitality perhaps of a person who is not a vegetarian. So you have to find a way to keep your diet healthy and proper and still be a good house guest.

While your desire to live a life free of the eating of meat and perhaps a meat byproducts like eggs and milk is not a eating disability, it is an eating limitation. If you had a food allergy, perhaps to shell fish and you were going to stay as a house guest with someone, you would not feel any guilt letting them know your problem. If you can put your vegetarian lifestyle in that context and prepare for your visit accordingly, there doesn’t have to be any "stigma" or guilt or problems bringing up your dietary needs with your host.

Your host, after all, naturally wants you to enjoy your stay in their home. Anyone who is hosting has a natural instinct to make your stay comfortable and perfect. You can capitalize on that instinct and be polite about the desire your host has to make your stay go well but working with your host to let him or her know about your vegetarian diet and how it might impact food planning.

When you get the invitation to come for a stay, that is the time to discuss what you can and cannot eat in your vegetarian discipline. If you just avoid meat and not dairy and meat byproducts, it is very likely your host or hostess can prepare their regular meals but also put together a small main dish that fits your diet needs. And you can enjoy the vegetable side dishes all you want so by working with your hosts, you can easily integrate how you eat into their meal planning and not disrupt the visit.

But also be aware that there are items that your host may not supply that you may wish to bring with you or go get after your arrival. If you need soy milk because cows milk is not part of your diet regimen, by all means bring that in so your hosts are aware you are taking care of your own needs. Just let them know what you are providing for yourself and if the communication goes well, you can be accommodated and your hosts will be grateful that you did not see it as their job to provide for every aspect of your vegetarian program.

The other side of being a good house guest and not letting your vegetarian way of life be a problem is to be both open about your discipline and not judgmental or "preachy" to others about the fact that they have not made the same diet decisions you have made. In fact, you might even offer to prepare an entirely vegetarian meal for the host family and your own one night just to demonstrate to them just how delightful and tasty meat free eating can be. You may be surprised just how interested and fascinated your friends and family are about your diet and why you are a vegetarian. And by being friendly, open, loving and easy to talk to, you make the visit more interesting, fun and warm and you may even be able to educate your hosts and maybe your own family about why your vegetarian way of life is a good one.

Its one thing to move into a vegetarian discipline when it comes to preparing your meals at home. But things get more complicated when you go out to eat because you must be prepared to order appropriately at a restaurant so you get good foods but foods that are in line with your vegetarian way of life.

The first order of business that should rank high on your priorities early in your vegetarian career is to find and try all of the vegetarian restaurants in town. This list will come in handy when enjoying some social time with like minded vegetarians or to eat on the run or from work. Also these will be the kinds of restaurants where you can learn what kinds of recipes to look for and what you like in a vegetarian order.

But you won't take all your meals with other vegetarians. If you are like most of us, you share your life with friends, loved ones and coworkers who are not part of the vegetarian lifestyle. So learning to find good vegetarian alternatives in all of the restaurants is one of the skills you will become adept at the longer you remain a vegetarian which is hopefully for life. One trick is that if you have a vote in the kind of restaurant to choose, go for Chinese or Italian. Chinese restaurants often have some great meatless offerings already on their menu so you can order vegetarian and not even raise anyone suspicions.

Similarly because you find so many dishes in an Italian restaurant that are pasta only, you can order a veggie pizza or just pasta with a nice sauce or maybe some broccoli and enjoy a fine dinner that is totally in step with your vegetarian rules. Any restaurant that already has a good selection of meatless dishes that are not set apart as vegetarian are a good choice because you can dine with your non-vegetarian friends and family members and not call attention to the differences between you and them. And since most restaurants have a good salad menu, that is always a fall back in any restaurant situation.

If your vegetarian regimen is vegan so you must also avoid milk, eggs, cheese or anything cooked in chicken or meat stock, you will have to kick your vigilance up a notch. The good news is that the vegetarian movement has become so large and wide spread that many restaurants want to accommodate their vegetarian customers.

By letting your waiter know of your diet restrictions, he or she can guide you to the items on the menu that fit your requirements. It is not uncommon to see the manager or chef of the restaurant come to the table to help you make a choice. Restaurants are in the business of satisfying customers so they want to make sure you are happy with their menu offerings. And by enlisting the aid of your restaurant staff in a cooperative and friendly way, you send a positive message to your dining companions that you can live a vegetarian lifestyle and still be a happy member of the community in which you live.

Most of us have a short list of restaurants that we frequent often. But every restaurant you go to wants to be on that short list and make you a valued customer. So network with your vegetarian friends and do your homework up front to find out which restaurants do well at accommodating the lifestyle of their vegetarian or vegan customers. Then develop your strategy for handling any situation where you find yourself eating out so you can come out of that experience with a good meal that fits your lifestyle and not miss out on the great social times that we associate with the eating out experience.

Whether you are already a vegetarian and have learned you were pregnant or you are adopting the vegetarian lifestyle along with your pregnancy, its important to be aware of the special needs of your body and the body of that infant inside you so you supplement your diet appropriately for a healthy pregnancy.

For obvious reasons, calcium is one of the biggest concerns for your diet if you are taking meat out of your meal planning. If you have not already eliminated milk and cheese from your diet but are at the level of vegetarian meal planning of just eliminating meat, it might be wise to leave those other items in your diet for the course of your pregnancy so you have a natural and abundant source of calcium and protein in those diary products. But there are other sources of calcium you can draw on from your diet including tofu, broccoli, green leafy vegetables and others.

Next to Calcium, Vitamin D is a big need for the development of your pregnancy. Rather than resort to pills, there is a natural source of plenty of vitamin D - sunlight. By getting about twenty minutes of good sunshine each day, you will natural absorb the vitamin D you need. But be sure you go out in a weak sunlight without sun block so you get the good of your time outdoors but don’t get a sunburn. If you cannot get direct sunlight one day due to weather or other hindrances, you can get some Vitamin D from cereals and milk if that is allowed in your diet.

B12 can be a problem on a vegetable diet because it is not abundant just in plants. You can get B12 from soy milk or using vitamin enhanced cereals that will give you the levels you need. Just remember when reading the vitamin ingredient panel on cereals that the minimum daily requirements listed there are not for pregnant women. You will have to dig a bit deeper to know what the actual values of B12 requirements are and how much you need to supplement your diet to continue a healthy pregnancy. So consult with your doctor to know exactly what to do to keep your nutrition levels up. Your doctor can also help you modify your vegetarian diet plan to accommodate the extra vitamin needs of a growing baby inside you.

Iron is a big requirement for women in any stage of life because of the increased demand during menstruation. But during pregnancy, that need is even more critical and the levels of iron your body needs are much greater, especially in the later stages of pregnancy. Good sources of iron include beans, molasses, seeds, leafy vegetables and nuts. Some cereals and breads are also iron supplemented but as before, make sure the levels are what you need nutritionally. And if you are not getting a full compliment of iron each day, don’t be shy about turning to vitamin supplements.

Any vegetarian diet must be balanced so you get enough protein in your system because for most of us, meat, cheese and milk are our primary sources of protein. But because that little one is growing rapidly inside you, your need for protein is even more important. You can get plenty of protein if your vegetarian meal plans are well rounded and includes soy milk and other natural sources of protein. But be aware of the need and organize your daily diet accordingly.

Zink is another vitamin that often gets overlooked and the need for it in vegetarian diet supporting pregnancy is great. So put some thought into making sure you get your Zink from whole grains and other forms of natural foods.

You may become a bit of a nutritional expert during your pregnancy but if you do, that’s a worthwhile area of knowledge. Early in your pregnancy, consult your doctor about vitamin supplements to keep on hand. While it is preferable to get your nutrition from your foods and you want to enjoy as natural a pregnancy as possible, don’t hesitate to turn to these supplements if the need comes up.

In many family budgets, one of the biggest food expenses is often meat. So in theory at least becoming a vegetarian should be an outstanding financial maneuver. In theory, if all you ate was rice and vegetables, you should be able to live for very little.

But theory and reality are often far apart from each other. Because the culture of vegetarian living has developed so many high quality foods to fill the gap left behind by a good steak or a plate of barbeque ribs, you can spend as much or more on your vegetarian lifestyle as you did when you were a meat eater. The high cost of living as a vegetarian is not entire attributable to gourmet foods however.

The truth is if you are going to live in day in day out and month in month out on a vegetarian diet, not only do you need some high quality foods to substitute for taking a whole food group out of your diet, you need variety. The quality is needed because its your health on the line if you don’t get the proper nutrients. The diversity is needed because if you get bored with the vegetarian lifestyle, you may quit and give up. And nobody wants that.

Another reason that the cost of vegetarian eating is often higher than a "normal" diet comes from the fact that vegetarians are still in the minority. So prepared vegetarian foods and vegetarian only restaurants are rare. And to be able to make a profit, these specialty stores must charge a lot because they are specialty stores. Unfortunately, even though we see the vegetarian community as a supportive one, if you are going to be able to afford the vegetarian lifestyle, you are going to have to learn to cut costs.

Cutting costs means eliminating shopping at "boutique" vegetarian markets and no more eating out. Or at least it means cutting down on the eating out significantly. You can buy fresh vegetables and fruits at farmers markets or grocery stores that are just as valid as vegetarian options as any you get as a specialty store. Using a good food processor and other means, you can chop, dice, boil and puree just about any kind of vegetarian meal that you might be able to imagine getting in a restaurant. And at a much lower cost. Not only that but the leftovers can go into a compost pile to make fertilizer for your garden when you can grow your own vegetables next spring.

That "grower to consumer" market that often surfaces as a farmer's market is a great way to save lots of money also because you are buying your produce directly from the farmer and you cut the grocery store out of the loop entirely. One way to make sure you capitalize on every opportunity to buy inexpensive produce is to work as a community. Get about a dozen vegetarian families working together to always be on the lookout for a great buy. One might find a small farmer's market or roadside stand that is selling produce far below grocery store prices. Another might find a farmer who will basically give his food away just to clear the field. With some coordination, you could field an army of vegetarians to grab those bargains while they are fresh and stock everybody's kitchen with low cost fresh produce.

These are just a few of many ways you can find to save money on your vegetarian groceries and still have just as much quality but without as much cost. By shopping smart and shopping for bargains, you can live the vegetarian life and feel good about it because you are not only healthy, you are smart.